Opening the Door to Transformation with EMDR Therapy
- Tiffany Bentley
- Aug 9
- 5 min read
Updated: Aug 15
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is an evidenced based therapy for treating trauma, anxiety, and other stuck emotional patterns. It’s also one of the most misunderstood. Have you’ve ever wondered, “Is EMDR just someone waving their fingers in front of your eyes?” The truth is, EMDR is so much more than that.
Whether you’re considering EMDR for yourself or trying to understand what a loved one is going through, this post will walk you through what EMDR actually is, how it works, and what to expect when you begin.
What Is EMDR and Why Do People Choose It?
EMDR is a structured, research-backed approach to healing trauma. It was originally developed to help people with PTSD, but over time, it's been found to be helpful for a wide range of challenges:
Anxiety or panic
Grief and loss
Childhood trauma or emotional neglect
Chronic low self-worth
Body-based trauma responses (like shutdown or hypervigilance)
Medical trauma or birth trauma
Relationship patterns rooted in the past
What makes EMDR unique is how it works directly with your nervous system and memory networks not just your thoughts. You don’t need to talk through every detail of a traumatic experience to heal from it. Instead, EMDR helps your brain reprocess painful memories and resolve the “stuck” emotional charge they hold.
How EMDR Works in the Brain
When something traumatic happens, it can overwhelm the brain’s normal ability to process experiences. Those memories may not get stored properly and can become “frozen” in your nervous system, along with the emotions, body sensations, and beliefs tied to the moment.
EMDR helps by reopening those neural pathways in a safe, structured way allowing your brain to finally finish processing and resolving what got stuck.
The bilateral stimulation used in EMDR (eye movements, tapping, or tones) seems to help mimic the natural memory-processing state your brain enters during REM sleep. This is part of why EMDR often feels like things are shifting and integrating even between sessions.
EMDR Is More Than Eye Movements: Understanding the 8 Phases
EMDR therapy follows a structured 8-phase model but don’t worry, you won’t be quizzed on it. What matters most is understanding that EMDR is a whole process, not just the moment of doing eye movements.
Here’s the most important thing to know:
You’re not dropped into trauma processing right away.
The early phases are all about building trust, resourcing, and helping your body feel safe and supported. That “eye movement” part (or tapping, or tones) is called bilateral stimulation, and it’s only one part of the process. It happens after we’ve laid a foundation of emotional safety.
Here is what it looks like in practice:
We start by learning your story, your goals, and what’s most affecting you now. We map out key experiences from your past that might still be shaping your nervous system today.
We build tools for nervous system regulation. You’ll learn grounding techniques, resourcing skills, and ways to calm your body if you start to feel flooded. These aren’t just for therapy sessions—they’re for your whole life.
Only when you’re ready do we begin reprocessing stuck memories. Using bilateral stimulation, we help the brain safely rework those experiences so they no longer carry the same emotional weight.
We reinforce the positive. We don’t just reduce distress—we help strengthen beliefs like “I am safe now,” “I am capable,” or “I am lovable.”
We check in and adjust. Every phase of EMDR includes opportunities to slow down, pause, or come back to regulation.
This is why EMDR is a whole-person, trauma-informed process not a single technique.
At Somatic Women, we approach EMDR with integration and flexibility. We don’t just apply a technique; we attune to each client’s nervous system, history, and readiness. We blend EMDR with somatic and cognitive based practices, and curiosity. It’s a collaborative process, where your pace, your voice, and your whole self are always centered. Whether we're addressing attachment wounds or a single traumatic event we work to create a space that honors the body's wisdom and fosters real healing.
EMDR FAQs
How many sessions will I need?
It depends. For a single event (like a car accident or medical trauma), relief might come in a few sessions. For more complex trauma or developmental wounds, we often need more time. Your therapist will tailor the approach to your needs not a timeline.
How long are sessions?
Standard sessions are 50–60 minutes. Some therapists offer longer sessions for reprocessing phases. We’ll collaborate to determine what feels most supportive for your nervous system.
What happens after a session?
You might feel tired, relieved, emotional, or reflective. Sometimes, dreams or memories may surface. This is a sign your brain is still integrating. Most people feel more clarity over time.
Is EMDR a quick fix?
It can feel like magic, especially when a long-held belief or fear dissolves. But EMDR isn’t a shortcut. Healing from trauma especially long-term or complex trauma takes patience and presence. The goal isn’t just symptom relief it’s deep integration and wholeness.
Want to understand trauma more deeply? You might find this helpful:Understanding Trauma: How It Affects Your Life—and What You Can Do About It
Supporting someone in therapy? Read our companion guide:Supporting a Loved One in EMDR Therapy
Self-Care After EMDR: Supporting Integration
After an EMDR session especially during or after reprocessing it’s important to care for yourself. Here are some ideas:
Grounding Practices:
Drink water or warm herbal tea
Eat a nourishing, grounding meal
Go for a slow walk outside
Use a weighted blanket or do a body scan
Creative Integration:
Journal about what came up (without pressure)
Draw or collage how you’re feeling
Use breathwork or gentle yoga to support body awareness
Emotional Safety:
Avoid emotionally intense conversations or media
Let trusted loved ones know you might need space
Revisit your calming resources and coping tools
You don’t have to “do” anything to make the therapy “work.” Simply honoring your body and energy is enough.
EMDR and Dissociation
If you’ve experienced dissociation feeling numb, foggy, or disconnected from your body you’re not alone. This is a very common response to trauma.
The good news: EMDR can still help in fact, it’s often one of the most effective modalities for safely integrating dissociative experiences. But it’s essential that the process is paced with care.
In therapy, we take our time to:
Recognize and understand dissociative responses
Develop grounding and containment skills
Use body-based tools to increase present-moment awareness
Keep processing sessions titrated so they don’t overwhelm
Somatic support and EMDR can work beautifully together. If dissociation is part of your experience, we honor that and adjust the approach—not rush through it.
Resources to Learn More
Books:
Websites:
Ultimately
You don’t have to get it perfect you just have to keep going.
EMDR really isn't a one-size-fits-all technique, but a powerful, client-centered process rooted in integration, safety, and nervous system healing. It’s not about rushing or reliving trauma. It’s about moving through what’s stuck with care, support, and choice.
You don’t have to do it alone. You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to take the next right step for you.
Because ultimately, Light, you’re the keeper of your own knowing—no one else has that kind of power. Shine bright and keep moving forward.
If you want to know more about who I am and what therapy with me looks like, you can learn more here.
Thanks for reading!
About the Author
Tiffany Bentley, LCSW, is the founder of Somatic Women, a virtual therapy practice supporting women in MA, CT, RI, VT, and FL. She integrates EMDR, ACT, and somatic therapies to help women reclaim their voices, restore balance, and live with clarity.
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